It has been a long while since I have decided to write, but now seems like the most appropriate time. The past year has been quite the roller coaster ride. I am now a father of a little man (He is the size of an toddler at 4 moths so man is the correct term I think). Life has been busy and that is just more material to work with. Because this blog is about random, weird, and most of the time inappropriate conversations. I really want to come back with this beauty of a story.
This past week I had to get "certified" to drive a forklift at my job. This came at a terrible time for me. As a bookkeeper the beginning of the year is the time of year to recycle and prepare for the rest of the year. Being somewhat tense, and irritable combined with the loose relationship that I have with my bosses created an interesting month.
In the span of two days I was able to say some pretty regrettable things. First was my boss "El Jefe". He is always ragging on me for not wearing my tie while at work. I deal with numbers and papers all day, the tie is more of nuisance than professional. His way to drive home his point is to pretend to flick me in the neck. On this particular day he was extra anal about my tie. Finally he is in my office and looks right at me and hold out his hand ready to bury his finger into my neck and says, "Chris, I just want to hit you one time in your throat so you will get the hint."
There was no lapse in time for me to even think. The first thing to come to my mind is the first thing to come out of my mouth. Without missing a beat I responded, "Why so I can gah gah gah (gagging noise for 10 seconds), like I am deep throating an elephant."
As I laughed for a full minute, El Jefe just stared at me and realized that he couldn't say anything to that. He made for the door four times, but each time he stopped and started to say something but held back. Finally, the only words that he could utter, "You are disgusting." Sadly, I have to agree on this on.