Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Holiday Spirit

                Christmas time is just one of those special occasions. To some, it is all about the food! Others get a kick out of giving a crazy amount of gifts they can't afford. My personal favorite is the swindler. Most people believe that the best time to do your Christmas shopping is on Black Friday, but the swindler knows that anytime after thanksgiving is the best time for shopping. In truth swindlers probably sleep in on Black Friday, awake from there slumber by the sound of the news on the TV talking about how Target had to use mace to control the crowd at midnight because people are crazy!
                I can say this because I have dabbled in the retail game, and people go nuts around the holidays. Now, if you have ever in your life worked in retail around the holidays, you know that you get in a ridiculous, and I mean a RIDICULOUS amount of "seasonal" merchandise. This "seasonal" merchandise ranges anywhere from the newest pillow pet, to almond bark (that is apparently pretty hard to find the other 11 months of the year) to a $600 3 piece lithium drill set, to the ugliest comforter set that matches the puke green curtains, to wooden boxes with stenciling on them that cost $49.99. The Christmas spirit in retail is as green as the furry coat of hair that covers the Grinch.
                Although, what I absolutely love about retail is how hard a manager will try just to please one customer. This is where the swindler comes in. The swindler will come in the middle of December and find all the crap that they want to buy from that store. They will just fill the cart to the brim, stop at the front desk, and ask, "Can I speak with your manager?" Most swindlers are not stupid. They won't settle for an assistant manager, they want the store manager. The swindler will do that because they only want to ask once for the deal. The deal being, a reduction in price for pretty much everything in the cart for the price that it was on Black Friday, like the $600 3 piece lithium drill set that was on sale for $299.
                Most people would read this and think that this is insane for a couple of different reasons. First, who is dumb enough to not understand how a simple ad works? Second, what kind of manager has absolutely no back bone to tell a moron no? In short, I think that almost every manager will crumble in that situation. For the simple fact that the swindler will ask to borrow their phone to call the boss of the manager, to say that the unhelpful manager refuses to give good customer service. The last thing the manager wants is to have his boss chew him a new one, and have to answer why he is turning a customer away that is willing to spend money at their store.
                I always thought that the holidays were such a great time as a child. You got to have Christmas break, hot chocolate, and snowball fights. As an adult, I now realize that the holidays can be a stressful time. Especially when you have to meet the greed of retail out of love for your child. As a consumer, I personally would like to thank all the kind people that work in retail, and piss on all the unkind people.

                The Swindler

1 comment:

  1. I really like the way you write. And i like that I can read your thoughts like this.

    ps. I can't believe I'm married to the swindler! ugh!