It has
been a long while since I have decided to write, but now seems like the most
appropriate time. The past year has been quite the roller coaster ride. I am
now a father of a little man (He is the size of an toddler at 4 moths so man is
the correct term I think). Life has been busy and that is just more material to work with. Because this blog is about random, weird, and most
of the time inappropriate conversations. I really want to come back with this
beauty of a story.
This
past week I had to get "certified" to drive a forklift at my job.
This came at a terrible time for me. As a bookkeeper the beginning of the year
is the time of year to recycle and prepare for the rest of the year. Being
somewhat tense, and irritable combined with the loose relationship that I have
with my bosses created an interesting month.
In the
span of two days I was able to say some pretty regrettable things. First was my
boss "El Jefe". He is always ragging on me for not wearing my tie
while at work. I deal with numbers and papers all day, the tie is more of nuisance
than professional. His way to drive home his point is to pretend to flick me in
the neck. On this particular day he was extra anal about my tie. Finally he is
in my office and looks right at me and hold out his hand ready to bury his
finger into my neck and says, "Chris, I just want to hit you one time in
your throat so you will get the hint."
There
was no lapse in time for me to even think. The first thing to come to my mind
is the first thing to come out of my mouth. Without missing a beat I responded,
"Why so I can gah gah gah (gagging noise for 10 seconds), like I am deep
throating an elephant."
As I
laughed for a full minute, El Jefe just stared at me and realized that he
couldn't say anything to that. He made for the door four times, but each time
he stopped and started to say something but held back. Finally, the only words
that he could utter, "You are disgusting." Sadly, I have to agree on
this on.